J o e y & A l e e t h e a: what really matters?

"In order to do what really matters to you, you have to, first of all, know what really matters to you." - Dr. Edward Hallowell

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Should I blog about work?

Or should I blog about relaxing?

I've always considered myself lucky enough to love my work. I'm talking about before my baby boutique.. Before Orlando, FL. Before the Hubbs Joe, and our sweet monster kiddos...a lifetime ago...five few years back...in a past life in the corporate world...I was a full time geek in NYC, spending my days on 5th Ave...analyzing user requirements, trouble-shooting software, conducting group software training sessions...overlooking the city...and developing technical solutions. It made me happy.

Writing programs and databases for desktop computers at all hours of the night...bringing my laptop on the subway, the LIRR or on the express bus from Queens to code away the commute. The physical world being transformed, a virtual escape, my way of fighting against the boundaries of the daily routines, and getting lost and found by way of coding. That used to excite me - and relax me at the same time. Although not anymore..but don't get me wrong...I still code, the Programmer is still in me of course...but these days I only dabble in it...no comparison to living it as I used to.

Now let's fast forward to today...a hubby, 2 babies, a dog, and an Etsy shop full of handmade goodness later...exit the shopping in Manhattan, and exit the virtual computer design with its non-tangible items and on screen properties of colors being numbers and words being code...and enter...the piles of fabric, the textures, all the fun wonders and beauty of the textile world, the mesmerizing world of fabrics that I can actually touch...and...my new weapon of choice...the sewing machine. "Tadaaaaahhhhh!" - as Joey would say. And of course, to go hand in hand with my Etsy shop and all my fabric...is this...my lovely little blog.

And since I now live in baby-land and am always making you - my wonderful family friends lurkers blog readers - look at photos of the most gorgeous kiddos in the whole world, I was instead going to select that alternative theme which is "work", and write about my work outside of Etsy. I was going to tell you about .NET programming, UNIX and Flash scripting, and Website and Application Development - I was going to write a cute little VisualBasic app and...blah blah blah...I digress...and so I've decided not to.

Because who am I kidding? The coder geek in me has happily and finally admittedly accepted defeat. The Programmer in me has been wrestled to the ground by the Mama, Wife, Designer in me. And these days instead of hard core coding, you can find me hard core sewing. Umm...unless you're my current web client reading this, for whom you know I will always make an exception for you - and your website status is per my email yesterday. :)

OK, moving right along...and so, I ultimately have chosen to write about the other theme...which is...what do I do to relax? hhhmmmm...for me...to speak about relaxing takes more effort these days than to work.

Besides taking a few hours moments to think and blog crank up my dusty brain engine up to full power ...while also laughing at my own steam coming out of my ears as my mom would say she sees... in order to somehow painfully muster up write (to my own amazement and I'm sure yours as well) a few meagerly little yet wondrously hopefully coherent sentences...besides blogging which gets rid of a dozen sticky notes slows me down to a thinking and planning stage...the following by far is why I make all that monster clothing, what speaks to my heart, keeps me sleep deprived, relaxes me, makes me need all that coffee, and calms my soul...

I try to lie down still next to this beautiful little one as often as possible...

and look upward and experience her view of this world...

and as often as possible we engage in meaningful conversation as I gaze into those big brown eyes of unmatched beauty...

and share a giggle with my new daughter...

and watch my little artist paint with such 2 year old intensity as I patiently yet so eagerly await what he tells me he's drawn...

and play with my sweet ferocious beast...

and think of the reason why I am who I am today...the reason why I am here...the person who changed my entire life...and the reason why today I can relax...

and remember the honeymoon with that amazing man who gave me that little shiny ring...and promised me even better days ahead...and thank God for the bigger rock when he got a better job...

(insert photo of pre-baby weight here)...